My Pleasure...

I eat a lot of Chic-fil-A. These cow-free sandwiches constitute at least one meal a week. As part of my frequent visits to this popular chain, I've noticed an annoying habit. All of the employees lie. Every time you ask them to do something for you. No matter how demeaning, they always respond the same way. Seriously, Try it out. Next time you walk into a Chic-fil-A, walk up to an employee and ask them to bring you some napkins. Nine times out of 10, they'll reply the same way: "My pleasure".

Today, James Mitchener and I tested an employee.
Employee: Can I get you anything, maybe a refill?
Me: Sure, Ice Tea.
Employee: No problem. (Walks away with my cup)
James: See, he said 'no problem'.
Me: Just wait.
Employee: (Returning with my drink) Here you go.
Me: Thanks.
Employee: My pleasure. Can I take your tray?
Me: Yes, please.
Employee: My pleasure. Anything else?
Me & James: No, thanks.
Employee: My pleasure.

A few weeks ago, I had a similar experience. I was sitting with James and a different employee came up and asked if I needed anything. I asked him for "some ketchup, please". He responded with "My pleasure" and I couldn't just let it slide. I had to call him on it.

Me: I call bullshit.
Employee: Pardon?
Me: I don't think it really is your pleasure. I don't think you find ANY pleasure in bringing me ketchup at all.
Employee: (Smiling) Just between us, you're right.

I was thankful for his honesty.

I hate that all Chic-fil-A employees are spoon fed ONE frick'n pleasantry. How about you work a few other niceties in? Try "no problem" or my personal favourite "no worries"... sorry James... I had to steal it.

Supercalafragalisticexpialatrocious

My nose is bleeding.

Puntification

If you've known me for any amount of time, then you're quite aware of my love for puns. It is, perhaps, true that I overuse this literary device, but can you blame me? I mean, come on! Puns are everywhere. Not to mention, they're funny. One of my favorites is the visual pun. In high school, I actually carried around a picture which I used to answer questions. I'd pull it out when ever possible just to get a laugh.

Teacher: "Did you do your homework, Mr. Schwirian?"
Me: (pulling image from my pocket) "A frayed knot..."

Another classic story was related to me by a friend. He described a situation where one of his professors walked into class threw his test papers on the ground and stood on top of them saying "Today, we're going to go over the test".

Bravo, I say. Bravo!
I hope this entry hasn't been too pungent.

That's good internet!

I don't often come across a blog that screams "READ ME!" but I've been fortunate enough to find several fantastic blogs. Yesterday, I stumbled across a one such blog. Check it out. Seriously. If you like the bullshit I write, you'll love Hobo Teacher. I recommend this entry to get your feet wet, but I've red several and I've yet to dislike any. This guy is an asshole, but more importantly, he's smart. Just my kind of person.

Here are links to the other assholes I read on a daily basis:
James R. Mitchener's The Mitchener Mind
Scott Adams' The Dilbert Blog

Agenda Setting

It's common knowledge that the media often dictates topics of political discourse. This manipulation is called agenda setting. These hot topics are seldom of any real importance to the American Public, however, much time is devoted to debating them. I'm sure you can think of a few of these topics.

How far can this go? Imagine the next presidential debate. How do you think the candidates might respond to a question like "Should Paris Hilton have served more time for her crimes?" or "Isn't Katie Holms too young for Tom Cruise?"

US Foreign Policy is a lot like football...

Football is played all over the world - Europe, South America, Africa... EVERYWHERE... Americans think we're the best. We call our teams the world champions, but in the end, we're not even playing the same game.

Dominance

Today, we had an assignment to define various characteristics in a way that can be measured. My group left class early, so I was forced to find new partners. They welcomed me and we began. Our first word was “dominance”. The first definition I gave was the likelihood to ignore other people’s suggestions. The guy in my new found group clearly had dominance prior to my joining. He promptly shot down my idea saying dominance does not imply that you’re an asshole. I decided to let it slide and let him keep his dominant role, but I felt he did a good job of demonstrating my point.